JustAGuyinHK

I finally put up the Christmas Board in front of the English room. It is something I’ve been procrastinating for a long time. It’s the one part of my job where my motivation is not there.

I spent most of my lessons in an ‘English room’ where the students who came in must speak English. The room is decorated with English words, phrases, pictures and other things to help the kids have enough resources to do the writing, speaking and reading in the classroom. The board is in front of the room and takes up a lot of space.

Changing and maintaining the board is one of my ‘duties’ or my ‘responsibility,’ but it is usually ignored or unnoticed. That is why changing the board ranks low on my priority list. I still need to change it. I still need to maintain it. If it is mentioned, I feel guilty about not changing it. The last display was a ‘welcome back to school’ display. It has been up since September.

I did a Christmas one this year, as I have done last year as well. I went to Sham Shui Po, an area of Hong Kong where there is a ‘street of Christmas decorations.’ The street is called Fuk Wing Street and where a lot of the toy and stationary shops are found in the area. It would make the board easy to put up. I was lucky to have my partner to help me ask and find things which can help make the board nice.

I put it up today since it is December 1st and feel Christmas decorations shouldn’t be put up until now. As I was putting it up, the kids would walk by and mention how the board looks ‘nice.’ A few gave me a thumbs up, which was great to see.

It is up and will need to change it quicker, when I get back from the Christmas holidays in the New Year.

When my love left Hong Kong, it was hard, and I fell into a depression. Hong Kong in 2022 wasn't the best place with the borders closed up due to COVID. There was fear in the city because of the pandemic and the changes in society caused by 2019. The only thing keeping me through was my love for my partner. When he left, things for me got worse in my mood. I realized how much my life was built around him.

A few months later, I met someone through a hook-up app. I was looking for someone to talk to and not hook up with. We met, talked and enjoyed the time together. Brian just arrived in Hong Kong and went through the 21-day quarantine at his own expense when we met. He was new to the city, and it was amazing to show someone the place that I loved. The newness of things was a fantastic feeling. At the time, I still longed for my partner.

Over the months, we grew close. I've had problems with my feet for a long time until it came to a point where I needed surgery to have one of my feet reconstructed. I would be housebound – unable to move for a month. Brian would come an hour out of his way to care for me. He bought food and kept me occupied while I recovered. He moved in; I fell for him.

He is an interior designer working in food and beverage in Hong Kong in a time of hope, before the opening when new businesses anticipated more growth, which never happened. Restaurants and bars have been crushed here, with the value of the HKD (pegged to the US) being too high for places to survive. He wasn't getting paid on time. He had his extended family to support. There was pressure, and I tried to help bridge the gaps. It was hard for him, causing a lot of stress. I tried to help where I could.

Eventually, there was no work. Brian was told we would love to hire you, but you can't speak Chinese (Cantonese/Mandarin). There was a job offer in Dubai, and he accepted it. I may have pushed because I knew Brian would need to do something other than interior design to survive in HK. He would struggle to support his family, and the pay for a Non-Chinese and non-Western' person as an English teacher would be low.

He is struggling. There are messages full of sadness and loneliness while I try to support him emotionally as best as I can. I feel a bit of guilt for pushing him to go. I feel sad about his situation and understand time helps, yet I don't want him to suffer. I care and worry about him but at a loss as to how to help, how to comfort when he is so far away.

I don’t know what to do.

Teaching is my profession. Counselling is also my profession. For both, I ensure I am prepared – as close to perfect as can be. It is never the goal but it is something to strive for since it is for the betterment of others. I do not ask for perfection in my life, in how I keep things which don't affect others. My only ask is my work is respected by the professionals around me.

When it is not, then I get cranky. It happened today when a teacher was late by 30 minutes. If they are 5 minutes late, it is understandable. If it is 10 then it is OK. When it is more than crankiness comes in. It grows even more when there is no notice – a message. When they come without an apology or something then it gets worse. It is not an excuse but an acknowledgement of being late or at least a respect for what I do and the effort put in.

The students came into the classroom as expected. They lined up outside the class and marched in groups except him. He ran in as fast as he could and started spinning around. I wasn't bothered, but the other teacher was trying to 'control him.' It was no use. I let him do as he pleased but gently tried to ask him if he would want to sit down and relax a bit. He grunted and let him be.

I am an English Teacher, and most of my lessons are taught by a local Chinese Teacher. I have been doing this for several years and know the ebbs and flows of how to teach here in Hong Kong. I will do everything in some classes while the local teacher will manage the class. In rare classes, we co-teach and finish each other's sentences. Either way, the needs of the students are met. When there is an SEN student, I tend to be more understanding with my background as an SEN student and my experiences working with students with challenges.

It was the first time it didn't work, and I was at a loss. The student didn't understand the need to sit still. The student didn't understand the importance of not bothering others. The other students were getting annoyed as the student would talk, touch and bother the other students. The local teacher tried to control. I tried to control a bit until I saw how all our energy was going to this boy instead of the class. The class's needs were not being met. It was not helpful.

I asked for help and was given suggestions, such as building a relationship outside the class. I am already doing that. Maybe I could use a reward system, which is already being used. We could place him in an area where he won't be a bother – it has already been done.

In previous schools, students with significant issues would be supported by a family member in the classroom. I have had mothers, aunts, and grandparents sit with students to help soothe their transition into school. Over time, the students would get better and start learning. I could see progress, and it was a wonderful thing. My fear is I won’t see it with this student.

A suggestion is to ignore the child. That hurts the most as it goes against everything about me.

I don’t know what to do and feel frustrated.