JustAGuyinHK

Only a month in, I feel I've made a mistake. I shouldn’t have come back to my old school. It was a mistake, and I hope it will become less of a mistake over time.

I have been working in ‘big schools’ here in Hong Kong for the past four years. These are schools with 5 & 6 classes of 25 kids per level. I would teach only the P1-P3 (Grades 1 to 3) without doing anything with any of the upper levels. The classes were repetitive – doing the same lesson over and over again. I would try to modify the lesson to the needs of the students. More fluent classes would have more challenging words and tasks, while less fluent classes would have support at their level. It was stressful in the first year but boring in the second year. It’s this boredom that spurred me to make the move. The work was easy, but a crucial structure was missing, which is often lacking in small village schools in northern Hong Kong.

There are four pillars of a good work environment. They are trust – do you feel like your work has your back? Belonging – do you feel part of something? Recognition – are you valued? And something called collective resilience – in a crisis, can we all come together for the benefit of each other and those we help? In my ‘new job’, I feel I don’t have any of those.

My school is disorganized. The person I rely on for information about what is going on has been missing for two weeks, and I expect them to be absent for the next few days or more. I had worked with her before and know she takes a lot of sick days. I am the only native English speaker at my school, and no one here feels comfortable speaking English. I feel more out of place than before. I have yet to experience the feeling that my work has value, as I still need to determine the needs of the students and find ways to help them.

In the three weeks of classes so far, everything feels rushed and unplanned, with the only purpose being to complete whatever worksheet, page in the textbook, or other assignment. It doesn’t matter if the kids know it. It doesn’t matter if the kids know their ABCs. It is about getting stuff done. I feel like I'm at the mercy of the local teachers, whereas in my previous school, I had more control over what I needed to do, and I could see students learn. This feeling of pressure, which I put upon myself, is normal, but it doesn’t feel like teaching. I am in a mode to manage the class since my teaching partner may not know how to or may not care. I am too harsh and not having fun in the lesson – when I am not having fun, the kids won’t be having fun.

It is only the beginning of the academic year, and I have yet to form a firm bond with the students. I don’t know the names of the teachers well. There is time for me to change, the school to change and for me to build a more meaningful relationship with the students to make the school year better. I am hopeful that when the teacher returns from their sick leave, things will improve. Currently, I’m filling in the gaps, which isn’t my goal or my role here, but I remain optimistic about the future.